Life’s suicide
by MadaSasu
Summary: They say you need to pray, if you want to go to heaven. But they don't tell you what to say, when your whole life has gone to hell...A abused suicidel boy has only one chance to live. But he thinks he cant live at all. Can naruto protect him from himself?
1. Chapter 1

I stepped onto the cold hard ground as I got out of my car.

I pushed a stranded of blond hair from my eyes and back into my gelled up mane.

People asked me why I was going to work at a step-up program. I just told them that's where all the good stories are. Not once had they responded back to me.

I walked toward the hospital with the intent on helping these people.

My knowledge in psychology tells me their hopeless; my knowledge on life tells me otherwise.

I stepped into Konoha Psychiatric Asylum with a confident strut walking past all the patients with glee.

People who live here aren't crazy. They are different. They are the only ones who have ever witnessed the real face of reality. The people who have suffered though so many struggles, and had had enough of them.

Anger-management.

Schizophrenia.

Psychosis.

Split-personality disorder.

Major depression disorder.

Excessive flash-backs.

Lastly… Suicidal...

These are the reasons why these people are here.

These are the things that are put in movies.

This is where I now work.

"Ehem, I'm looking for Doctor Tsunade…" I asked one of the nurses as I arrived at the desk.

"O, right this way, she's very busy. I ask that you do not aggravate her, she's all ready breathing down our necks…"

"I'll try my best…"

As the female nurse opened the door the microphone sounded.

"Code green in the adolescent unit. Code green in South 1."

I saw many male nurses and doctors scurrying down the halls.

"What was that all about…?"

"Don't worry it probably just Sasuke again… Code green means all available staff and nurses must report to that area. We have been having them a lot ever since Sasuke got a new doctor. Relax, at least he is not one of the angry ones…"

"Right…"

She opened the door to a large busted blond haired woman.

"Hello, Naruto."

"Hey old hag…"

The nurse mouth hanged agape as Naruto crossed the boundary line.

"Naruto…"

"Ya,Ya, sorry grandma..."

Grandma hugged me so hard my feet left the floor. When the hug was done she dropped me to the ground and ran to her desk.

"I'm putting you with kids your own age. Show them what its like to be a teenager. Show them what it's like to have a friend like you… You will be in South 1 with these kids…"

She handed me 4 folders. I read the names.

Sakura H.

Gaara S.

Itachi U.

Sasuke U.

"Now come let me introduce you to them."

Grandma grabbed and hand and ran through the door. Five doors later we appeared in a hallway full of terror. Three men were on top of a black hair boy who was struggling with a knife in his hand.

One male nurse barked out some orders and picked up the boy and threw him in what seemed to be his room. With the knife out of his hand he slammed against the small window on his door, screaming with such intensity his breath fogged up the frame.

"Who's that?"

My grandma looked down.

"That's one of yours. That's Sasuke Uchiha… Don't fear him though. He just is going through a bad week. But the thing is, if you get him on your side, you get the whole hospital is on your side. He's been here the longest. Since he was just five. All the adolescents look up to him. Even the adults admire him. He is usually calm. It's just his old doctor was killed in a car crash last week. Naruto, know one thing, if you get on his bad side, one of his followers will try to make attempts on your life."

"Then let's not get on his bad side then…"

With that I walked up to Sasuke's door and walked in.

He was settled down now and breathing steadily on his white sheeted bed.

"I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain…"

I looked up.

"Excuse me…?" I asked trying not to sound surprised.

"Some people try to understand, but nobody can know what living like this is like."

I inched closer.

"Well maybe I can…"

He turned his head towards me.

"It wasn't a suicide attempt; it was an escape from everything awful. When we cut, we're in control - we make our own pain and we can stop it whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. Don't you get it? For a brief moment, the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutter's mind, and when that stops and the other comes back, it is weaker. Drugs do that too, and sex, but not like cutting. Nothing is like cutting."

I sat down on the end of his bed. He seemed like he was in a trance like state. His voice monotone and body loose.

"Is that what you were trying to do? Take away the metal torment?"

He stared at me, expression like he was reading from a interesting history book.

"I don't know what I was trying to do. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left."

I laid my hand over his and looked him in the eyes.

"Sasuke, do you like having a low self-esteem? Does it make you feel special?"

I gave a huge smile and looked him right in the eyes.

He chuckled.

"Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown… From the look in your eyes I can tell even you have broken-down at least once…"

"Very observant, but I'm not the one in here…"

He gave a small smile.

"That didn't stop me from disintegrating the sanity of my last staff."

"The only thing your disintegrating is my stupidity, and that's something."

I reached my hand out for him to shake.

"How about we work together to kill off your depression…"

He didn't shake my hand.

He gave me a blank angry stare but with a small smirk.

"I'm not that easily won over…You staff think that I'm the leader of everyone here. I'm just their voice…"

I took my hand back.

"Then I not going to win over the leader, I'm going to speak to the voice."

"Fine by me… But for right now I consider you a threat. Don't come any closer. Also, thank you."

"For what?"

"For walking in before that big nurse slapped me…"

"…"

I went quiet. That was something to think about. But for now I have to focus on learning more about him. I need to learn who Sasuke really is. When I get back home his file is going to be the first one I raid through…

I got up and walked to the door.

"Thank you for speaking to me Sasuke…"

"No problem, I hope I scared you enough…"

"You wish…"

With that I left Sasuke alone, and left me thought to bewilder my new patient, my new friend.

Ok that was life's suicide my new book stay tuned for the next chapter.

NOTE: I know what being in a place like this feels like I have been there two times for suicide attempts I do not hide it. Just think before you act. Please do not wreck others live just for your own satisfaction. STOP BULLYING STOP CHILD ABUSE AND DTOP RAPE!!! I dedicate this to the homosexual patients in Pembroke Hospital. My first stop before I went to a step-up program…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I left back into the hallway with a grin on my face. This was going to be fun. I couldn't help but to feel almost a tingling feeling in my stomach as I looked back at Sasuke. Maybe it was excitement, or maybe it was the sudden feeling that I needed to protect him.

I pushed my thoughts of Sasuke to the back of my head for when I got home and walked down the hall to my next patient.

Sakura H. I read off the folder.

I looked through the window to see a pink haired girl that looked like she could be one of the nurse's, sitting on the windowsill looking at the sky.

I knocked on the door before I walked in.

"Hey, I'm Naruto, you must be Sakura?"

"Yes, now go away idiot!"

I peeked into her folder finding her diagnosis.

Split-personality disorder and Anger-management.

I nodded my head.

"Ok, let's start from the beginning. I'm your new nurse. I just thought we could get to know each other for a…"

"NO!! Buzz off! I don't give a crap! Go bug somebody else…"

I took a step back out of the door. This girl kind of scares me…

"O well thanks for talk to me…"

"Ya whatever…"

I ran out and closed the door.

"You ready to leave yet newbie?"

I looked over to a long black hair man with dark onyx eyes. He looked like Sasuke, except he had wrinkles running from the inside of his eyes to half way down his cheeks.

"Not yet… I'm Naruto… Your name?"

I reach out my hand for him to shake.

"Itachi Uchiha… Sakura doesn't mean it… Don't worry."

"Thanks. So Itachi may I ask what you're here for?"

This was one of my patients. He couldn't be that bad.

"They diagnosed me with Psychopathy… They are all idiots who don't know a thing…"

Never mind…

I pulled back my hand.

"A-A Psychopath?" I have never met one before.

Psychopathy is personality disorder whose hallmark is a lack of empathy… Psychopaths are "interspecies predators" who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, sex and violence to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Basically the doctors believe this man lacked in conscience and empathy, and he takes what he wants and do as he pleases. These kinds of people violate social norms and expectations without guilt or remorse. It confused me to no end somebody who technically just comforted me on one of my new patients could be this kind of person. What is missing in these kind of people's head, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony.

In other words they believe he's cold as stone, but, knows how to make you think he's a diamond.

This man was either the best actor in the world, or completely normal. It was just something about him that seemed different than the others.

"Yes… It's very stupid in my opinion."

"What made them think that?"

I walked closer to him feeling actually comfortable being nearer to him. He seemed to know a lot and willing to teach me. I already found the voice of the patients which was Sasuke. Now I have found the brain.

"Honestly I don't care what people say. But, I killed my parents… I had a reason… But instead they sent me here with my brother… At least I'm with him… Since they saw me show no remorse at the trial, they said I was insane. But I know that I'm not like those real psychopaths… I actually care about someone. I manipulated people not for myself, but for my brother… I tell you this because I can see what you are. I see that you could understand, it's in your eyes… Sasuke has all ready seen it, but he is not ready to trust you yet. At least you try to understand us unlike the other nurse's…" He spoke moving his hands.

I was pretty much shocked at what Itachi told me. It was just that he told me so much as soon as I met him. It seemed like people judge him a lot because of what he was diagnosed with, so he felt like he needed to explain that they were wrong. He felt the urge to let me get to know him.

Now that's progress.

"I believe you… So your Sasuke's brother?"

"Yes…"

"Then I might talk to you more often… He seemed so depressed… Maybe you can explain why his self-esteem and view on life is lower than a gangster's pants…"

He gave a chuckle.

"I can only tell you some things for right now. But for now, just push him. The more you push him, the faster he'll break…"

I smiled and grabbed his hand in a shake.

"Thank you Itachi. I think you were the highlight of my day."

"And you were the comedy act for me. Watching Sasuke look at your ass as you walked out, which was hilarious…"

I have never blushed harder in my life. It took me every ounce of control not to run to Sasuke's room and demand an explanation.

"Ohhhh… Okay…"

Itachi walked back to his room.

"O and by the way I can tell you liked it…"

Then he left. I was still hanging on his words as he left.

One more patient left.

I like this place already…

That's chapter 2. I am trying to make a new chapter everyday so be thankful. It's not easy writing about something in my own life. I hope you have all enjoyed my book so far so please leave comments. You don't want me to send you the pink puffball Sakura in the mail do you!!! Comment and alert please. You are really the only reason I come out of my little lonely corner to write sooooooooooooooooooooooooo do what I say!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Gaara S.

I walked down the hall to my next patient. I was really looking forward to lunch so I could talk to Itachi more, but, I guess I can go down there after I have met this Gaara kid.

I went up to the door and gave it a knock.

A red headed boy an intricate tattoo on his head answered the door. He had dark eyeliner underneath his eyes and bright green eyes… He looked so familiar.

"Ya?"

Gaara Subaku.! I should have remembered!!!

"Naruto is that you?!?"

I ran over and hugged Gaara.

"Ya, Oh my god I haven't seen you in so long!! I missed you!"

Gaara gave me a pat on the back.

A long time ago Gaara and I were best friends. So I couldn't even consider that I would see him here! He moved away when I was thirteen, because his father got another job in Suna…

"What are you doing here Naruto…?"

As I let go of him I gave him an angry look.

"What do you mean "What am I doing hear?" What are YOU doing here?!?"

Gaara went silent. He kept the door open but walked to his bed and sat down. He held his head in his hand shaking it like a bobble head doll.

"It's hard to put in plain words…"

I walked over and sat right next to him.

"Gaara you can tell me anything…"

He looked up to me with a tint of sadness in his eyes.

"Naruto, I-I see things. They speak back to me. I have names for all of them. Their existent to me and the doctors say that it's not healthy."

I gave a little smirk and patted him on the back. If that's all, I'm happy. I just want him to be content. I just didn't want his desire to be dead. I don't want him to be suicidal. That's all that matters…

"Gaara there is medication for that… You're not crazy. A lot of people have that sometimes. It's not your fault that you're here; it's just like a flu that will go away… I promise."

He raised his head and gave me a genuine smile. A cheerful smile.

"Thanks. But I know I'm not as bad off as a lot of people here… I have learned a lot of things from this place. A place like this teaches you that you should be grateful with what you have…"

"Believe me I know… Have you looked around? Pretty much everyone in here has a sad story… Everyone in here is unique…"

Gaara gave a whole-hearted laugh. He also wacked me in the back of the head.

I grabbed Gaara's hand and wrestled me to the ground. We play fought for awhile till I saw the time.

"I think we should go to lunch now, Gaara. You also have to help me understand this place. From what I have learned this is kind of like a high school and from my experience in high school I think I'm going to need some help."

"You got it…"

I ran to the door with Gaara and sped down the halls to the lunch room.

We walked into a room filled to the brink with people. Holy shit it was high school.

I looked around at all the little groups of people. There was the anger-management patients who were sitting near the trash can whispering rumors about the psychosis people who sat near the doors readying their escape. Then there was the Post-traumatic stress distorter people sitting in the corner all huddled up in a circle every once in a while glancing at the angry patients.

It was like everyone had a feud with each other. The suicidal kids sat in the back of the cafeteria either talking to each other or writing in journals.

Lastly there was the middle table it was somewhat conjoined one of all different kinds of patients. That's were my eyes settled.

All of my patients seemed to sit there…

I looked over to what I think sub-consciously I was looking for.

Sasuke who had a salad in his hands walked to the middle table. He eyes glazed which seemed to be the asset that you paid attention to. He always looked like he either didn't care, or wasn't all there. Like when I first met him, he talked trance-like…

Wherever Sasuke walked there were at least 5 people looking at him. He was like the King bee. Maybe Queen if his hair was a tiny bit longer.

I was about to walk up to him before Gaara grabbed my hand.

"Come on Naruto lets go sit down."

Gaara was actually pulling me in the direction that I wanted to go to. Towards the middle table…

"Hey guys, what's up…?"

When we arrived everyone turned and looked at me, all except Sasuke.

"Yo Naruto."

I turned and saw Itachi waving. As if that's all Itachi had to do, Sasuke looked at me. His glance lingered actually studying me. He gave a slight nod that everyone seemed to notice. That's when the offered me to sit down with them.

"You can sit next to me Naruto, Gaara…" Itachi spoke with a grin.

"Sure…"

I sat down next to Itachi, Gaara mimicking my actions sat down next to me. I was one seat away from Sasuke. Sasuke finality down inspecting me looked away. After that everyone seemed happy to see me. Some even gave me a jealous glare. I guess that one nod meant a lot…

"Naruto, have you been in a place like this before? Like in-patient?" Itachi ask chewing on some crackers.

"Not really but my mom has once. But sometimes I think I should have been here a couple years ago… I just imagine the world as an empty hole sucking up time. So I never really have the chance to stop and think about things like hurting myself…"

Nobody seemed to listen to me expect Itachi. Until HE spoke.

"The deepest people are the ones who've been hurt the most…Like you. Isn't that right…? Naruto…."

Everyone turned to me expecting me to answer. I looked into Sasuke's eyes. They were so blank but at the same time, it was like he knew things that the others don't. He looked right through me.

Even Itachi suddenly stopped eating. He looked at his brother and put his hand over his, like he was comforting him.

"I guess… I admire your intuition Sasuke… But tell me something… If I'm deep and have been through a lot, what are you?"

Everyone gave me horrified glare and scowls. They also awaited Sasuke's answer…

"I am bottomless…"

He picked up his tray and left us all in silence…

I just had to know more about him… So you could guess what I did…

I followed him…

That was chapter three people and this story is only three days old whoooohoooo!

Owell love you all!!! Mhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!


	4. AN

I'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm bbbbbbbacccccccccccccccckkkk kkkkkk! After a few years! I already updated 'Love is My Weapon' but I need your help to decided what to update next! Pick a story then send me a PM with the name! 3 I can't believe I haven't done this in years. I will try my first person writing again but now that years have passed I have gotten into 3rd person! So you will be seeing more of that in the stories now! Also if you have and questions and comments you really want me to reply to just shoot me another PM! I'd love to talk to ya! I get lonely! *Cries over keyboard*

Though Fanfiction is my life, I do have an education to keep up with so I don't think I can update ALL of them EVERYDAY like I used to. I will pick select ones that I might make a chapter to every other day or MAYBE everyday. Just because homework can't always keep me interested. XDDDD

So SEND ME A PM WITH WHICH YOU WANT ME TO UPDATE AND THE FIRST PM I GET WILL BE THE FIRST STORY I UPDATE!

Love,

MadaSasu


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